Sweet Victory

There's no denying that I've gotten into my fair share of trouble this year. First semester was the biggest trial I've been through since coming to Union. Its funny because people think Union is this perfect little community where everyone is a Christian and no one makes mistakes. There are even people I have class with that have that picture of Union. I, however, have seen the other side of this school; the things we try so hard to hide and act like isn't happening because we have to be "strong Christians" because we go to Union. This year I've realized faking it isn't going to help. I can't just hide my flaws and pretend that everything is okay. I've learned I have to be open up and make myself vulnerable. Most of the time I try to hide what's going on and pretend that I, like everyone else here, has it all together. The more I've opened up, the more I've realized these people here are just as human as I am. By becoming completely vulnerable to those close to me I've been able to learn not only a lot about them, but my own self. The relationship I've made this semester are ones that aren't temporary, like most of the people I hung out with last semester. I've made lasting friendships that aren't just skin deep. Instead of hiding everything going on we are able to talk and help each other go through whatever it is causing us to struggle. It wasn't easy letting my guard down and letting people in, but now that I have I'm glad I did and I'm thankful for the friends that took me in.

Throughout this semester I've been wrestling a lot with my relationship with God. It hasn't exactly been where it should. Its hard to feel loved and forgiven by God when sometimes its hard to forgive myself. I'm finally coming to the realization that I am forgiven. "There must come a point in our lives where we realize we truly are forgiven. That God loves us no matter what our past is. We are washed by the blood of Christ." Freshmen year of high school my m-fuge leader said that and even though it has stuck with me this long I don't always remember that it includes me.

Opening up has helped me start figuring things out. Letting people in that want to help me grow spiritually has proved to be the biggest blessing of the semester and that in itself is the sweetest victory.