random thoughts formed by sleep deprivation

For some reason I can't sleep. I need to because I have to be up in less than four hours, but for some odd reason my body won't let me. I guess since sleep won't come I will take this opportunity to share thoughts I've had lately.

• Clarksville has been my home for 18 years, but recently it doesn't feel that way. When I'm here I long to be back in Jackson. I consider Ayers 1 room 208 to be my home and the Lady Bulldog soccer team to be my family. Don't get me wrong I love my family here and enjoy every bit of time I spend with my mother and father, but love my Jackson family and miss them.

• I adore the simple things in life such as the small gnome I received from my mother, Jordan's Gucci shoes he wears when he wants to "dress up" for me, my brother trying to beat my high scores on anything I attempt, and my dad working out with me. To most these things seem minute, but to me it is so much more. These simple gestures show love. It is the little things in life lately that seem to mean so much to me.

• I've recently found myself listening to classic rock music. I've always listened to the genre but not really enjoyed it. I have found myself only listening to Jim Croce, Cat Stevens, Eric Clapton, Edwin McCain, and Jackson Browne while I'm working out. Don't be mistaken though, I am still in love with John Mayer, Ben Folds, and Jack Johnson.
  

• My family is the bomb. Since I've been home I've enjoyed spending time with my family just sitting around laughing about the silliest stuff. My family and I have so much in common, naturally. I love being able to relate with them and talk about the most random stuff.
  

• After recent situations and the Myers Briggs test I have found out that I am very introverted. It may be hard for some to believe because of my outgoing personality once I get to know people. I however keep to myself mostly and enjoy spending many hours alone. I love hanging out with my friends but after a while I just need time alone to recharge and think.
  

• Lastly, I've started to get away from trying to be such a people pleaser. I have always tried to do anything possible to make sure everyone around me is happy and have always cared way too much what people think of me. Recently, however, I've realized I don't need the world's approval. Thanks to Jordan I've had to realize I can be myself and still make people happy without worrying how I look or what the person across the room thinks about me. I knew I would have to deal with what people had to say when we started dating, and at first it really got to me, but now I realize it really doesn't matter as long as I'm happy.
  

God is in control

After being home from Union for a week I've decided that God was totally in control in my choice of college and I am so glad I let Him lead the way. Since being home I've talked to many of my friends who are away at school. We've all entertained each other with stories from our first semester of schooling. I've heard stories from UT, Alabama, Auburn, Belmont, Austin Peay, and Samford. I must say my friends are crazy and I love listening about how they spent their first semesters, but those adventures weren't for me.

I have loved almost every minute spent at Union and wouldn't change it for the world. No, I don't have any crazy party stories or SEC football game tales, but I still have had fun. I believe the atmosphere in which I have been placed in is perfect for me and my personality. At school I have become best friends with some of the most amazing people and am so thankful God has put them in my life. Being surrounded by people with the same aspirations and lifestyles as mine has really helped me see who I am.

My fun stories from first semester involve staying up til 3 am with my roommates talking about our lives and our futures, writing papers with each other about our worldview and what God is doing in our lives and world, and the infamous McDonald's runs. When we aren't engaged in deep conversations or doing homework together we do manage to create our own fun. Shopping carts, dancing to old music, singing obnoxiously, movies (love actually), halo, madden, and of course dutch blitz.

It has been a crazy semester learning about new people, but I feel I've learned even more about myself. I am thankful God brought me to Union and I cannot wait to see what He has in store for my life throughout the next three and half years. It is going to be a crazy ride, but I know He is control and will equip me for whatever comes my way.